Dual Careers: When you make the “Dual Decision” to temporarily leave behind your partner
It has been some time since I posted! No excuse,
but my excuse has an explanation! I would like to share my past months experience on “Dual
Careers” with you.
Dual Careers are a real “Hot Subject” of
discussion as well as, that of “Women’s Careers”. It just happens that I am a
woman in this situation, so it is normal that I talk from a woman’s perspective
as I am familiar with that, however, I have met many males who put their career on
hold for their partner. The situation is the same for everyone!
If you are thinking of temporarily leaving behind
your partner while you take up a job/career elsewhere, then the following will
give some real-life feedback and thoughts!
My story is part of those who made the same
decision: I recently passed the period of one year as an “Expat Solo Returning
Partner”. One year ago, my husband and I made the difficult family choice to
leave him behind on his expat assignment, while I returned to my career/work and brought the family with me.
Looking back, it was the right choice for us. A
choice that came with the inevitable problems of separation: on my end; daily,
assuming a career and being the only parental physical presence for the
children. On my husband’s ends, the solitude of being away from his family,
missing out on all those moments he enjoyed spending with his children and
family, missing out on them growing up, and on top of that having to deal with our recurrent
phone calls to manage our differences at a long distance!
Despite the challenges of the past year, the
decision was the right one for us. Our children are well integrated in their
new schools and very happy. After several long months of being apart, the family will be reunited again soon!
To understand the ins and outs of a Dual Career
decision, the best way to be objective and give valuable advice to others, is
to have personally lived an experience which puts both parties into discussions
around each parties’ career, aspirations and wellbeing.
If you are thinking of going down the same
pathway that we embarked on one year ago, my advice is:
To succeed:
Both partners
need to agree and be supportive. Both parties should understand the importance
of each partners career and how that can operate and be essential for personal
and family fulfilment. A woman can lead a career while continuing to be a good
mother and wife. The same applies to a man who is in the same situation!
It is easier
to return to an environment that you are familiar with, otherwise a complete
change of country/environment where you are alone without the support of family/friends in place,
will be challenging.
To conclude: Each situation is different, however,
if you don’t try, you will never know if it was the best LONG TERM CHOICE
Copyright © 2019 www.thirdcultureprofessionals.com
Author. Brid Doherty-Appriou
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