Métro, Boulot, Dodo

 

If you are new to Paris and it feels fast, intense, or a little unfriendly, relax. 

You didn’t do anything wrong.

Most newcomers, expats, or tourists arrive in Paris expecting the warmth, small talk, and easy smiles of their home culture.  So when a Parisian doesn’t chat in the elevator/lift, skips the smile, or gives a short answer, it can feel like a cold shoulder.

But here’s the truth:

Parisians aren’t cold,  life in Paris can be summed up as  “métro, boulot, dodo” mode.
Métro → Boulot → Dodo (Subway → Work → Sleep)

This little phrase sums up an everyday loop that runs on autopilot:
Métro: crowded trains, long commutes, navigating rush-hour chaos, dealing with transport strikes or delays.
Boulot: demanding workdays, high expectations, tight deadlines.
Dodo: home, collapse, sleep… repeat.

After days like that, there’s not much energy left for spontaneous friendliness.

So Parisians build emotional “buffers” in public spaces.
It’s not personal. It’s cultural.

What this means for newcomers to Paris

1. Neutral isn’t negative. A straight face is normal in big cities, especially here.

2. French communication starts formal. It’s usually: less direct about personal/emotional matters and more polite and structured at first high-context (tone and nuance matter) analytical and debate-friendly when discussing ideas

3. Warmth comes after familiarity. Once a Parisian knows you even a little, the real personality shows up: humor, invitations, genuine conversations.

So keep adapting and being open, the connections come with time.

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